It happens every day and everywhere in the world. People inevitably buy drugs and therefore face the problem to smuggle their expensive goods into festivals or parties.

It can be a challenge to bring your own LSD or ecstasy inside if you don’t want to buy it at the location. Finally, we are proud to present you our best drug smuggling methods!

We consulted the best smugglers of the previous festival season (not really) and gathered ancient tricks and tips to get your precious drug behind the enemy lines! Of course we tested every method (or not) and rated them in the different categories.

1. The ‘Keep it tight’


It’s exactly what you are expecting. We saw it in movies but never thought of doing it. Take a tampon and put the drug into the open end of it. Slide it with a little bit of intuitive feel into your ‘private part’ and you’re done.

Keep in mind that the string should hang out or you may find yourself digging for gold. Many drugs can dissolve if you don’t wrap them in cling film, so you should be very careful if you don’t want to get a dose right up your ass.

For all the men among us! Take a nice deep drill or it will be a real pain to keep your constrictor tight. And trust me, if it’s happening it’s hard to explain why a tampon suddenly fell out of your trouser leg.

An ‘in-depth’ security check will violate your privacy and can end with a trip to prison. However, it’s important to get high – I guess…

2. The ‘Tape Transporter’


Take a piece of transparent tape and stick the drugs under your balls. The inconspicuous gap between your beloved friend down there and your anus makes this strategy disgusting and promising at the same time.

Depending on the factor of how much balls you have, (pun intended) you can smuggle different amounts of drugs. Don’t be stingy with the tape or the package will get loose if you sweat a lot.

Never use duct tape or you will get an unintentional intimate waxing. Even if I have no clue why you would use it, for god sake – the same applies to liquid glue.

3. The ‘Bun hairstyle’


If you want to look pretty while smuggling pretty much every drug, this is your method. Take your long hair and learn how to make a bun. It might take a while to master this kind of hairstyle but no security will be so cruel and wreck your hair just to check for drugs.

Attempt this at home until you can’t see any cling film or foil. Head banging can cause some trouble, so you better keep yourself still whilst waiting in line!

Afros – the only problem you may face is getting your drugs out!
Wigs – your biggest enemy is the wind!
Fascinators – they look pretty sweet and are easy to use.

4. The ‘Smartphone case’


As long as they don’t X-ray your Smartphone your case is a pretty safe hiding spot. The best option is to use flat, soaked ‘papers’ or ideally ‘powders’. Pills make your case look thicker and suspicious.

Furthermore, it is likely that the pills will crumble anyway. If you want to go advanced, take your Smartphone out of your pocket without a demand. Be self-confident and hand your device out, they won’t open the case or did you ever do it?

5. The ‘Digger’


Most festivals use the same area year after year. Find a good place in the area and dig a small hole, put the drug in, close the hole again. The magic is to do this a few weeks before the event – now just visit it, find the spot and dig it up.

The trouble is not getting caught while digging. And you should know where you dug your hole first….And of course you have to discover a room to smuggle in a shovel. Maybe try one of our methods?

Mandatory Declaration: This article is only for the reader’s amusement. Drug smuggling is highly illegal and we don’t support anybody who attempts these methods! can’t give you any legal advice – so stay safe and don’t do drugs!

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